Hair Loss & The Grays

The 3 big complaints I hear about
time’s toll on hair,
Postpartum, peri-menopause & menopause phases
& how to deal

photo of bedroom with flowering plants

I’m going to get right down to it. Child birth does number on your body. Aging hair is a trip. Hair loss is a major bummer. And wrangling grays is simply not for the faint of heart.

Let me try to make some of this less daunting, and give you some ideas on how to manage, and thrive, or at least look pretty good, while you sweat through your sheets.

Hormonal Hair Loss

I have struggled with thinning hair since the birth of my child, 15 + yrs ago, followed immediately by peri-menopause.

Interestingly, this time line also coincides with my experiment in less frequent washing. More on that in a minute.

Let’s take a closer look at what was going on with me, and what shifted my perspective forever.

1st Postpartum Hair Loss

Your hair normally grows in cycles (growing phase, resting phase, shedding phase: repeat). But during pregnancy, most of the hair stays in the growth phase due to those big changes in your body’s hormones.

crop bald woman touching face with flower in studio

But after your hormones begin to change (again) after baby arrives, estrogen levels fall, causing your beautiful, thick head of pregnancy hair to begin the shedding phase.

& then

the hot-flashes that started during pregnancy never stopped

2nd Peri-Menopause/Menopause

When the levels of estrogen and progesterone drop, hair grows more slowly and becomes much thinner. A decrease in these hormones also triggers an increase in the production of androgens, or a group of male hormones. Androgens shrink hair follicles, resulting in hair loss.

Hormones. [quiet sigh]

To add insult to injury, I also had a buildup of products, dead skin, and free radicals from pollutants, clogging and inflaming my poor scalp, adding to the follicle shrinking over time. This also shortened my hairs’ life cycle, so my postpartum new growth wouldn’t “live” longer than three inches before shedding.

Hair needs good nutrition, ample blood flow, and a healthy environment to flourish, and be productive.

Just as I was starting to get really insecure about my thinning hair, I was introduced to Harklinikken, by a colleague, also client.

Lars, the founder, and the main brain behind the brand, absolutely blew my mind. Harklinikken’s focus is on scalp care, which supports hair growth.

Originally, Lars was looking for a calming solution to treat scalp irritation from hair loss treatments on the market at the time. By chance he discovered that his Extract, was growing hair without the added “hair loss treatments” he was trying to support. So long as the follicle is still viable.

In my case my follicles were clogged & my hormones were fluctuating like mad. So I made the changes Harklinikken recommends to everyone for good scalp care, and added the Elixir because I really needed it!

All those years of weekly washes, trying to save my curls, was the worst thing to do!


So what can we do to support optimal conditions for hair growth?
  • I seriously upped my wash/style game.
    • No more than 1 day between washes (GAME CHANGER)
    • Gentle scalp brushing with paddle brush before wash (skip if you are in an acute stage of hair loss)
    • I am pickier than ever about what products I use, and recommend
    • Curls need protection before cleansing
    • Pre-Condition ends, leave it in, while focusing on cleansing scalp
    • I use cooler water and rinse ALL product off my skin/scalp
    • I avoid getting anything, especially styling products on my scalp other than shampoo and any treatments
  • I use Harklinikken Extract at night

The Extract has really made a visible difference. Hair that would never live past two inches before shedding grow length again! I’ve clearly extended my hairs’ life cycle. I’d not seen that in over a decade. That creeping hairline spun a U-Turn, and went back where it started.

I am certain, had I been more focused on my scalp than my curls, I could have prevented a lot of heartache.

I lost a bunch of hair again after Covid infection, Harklinniken advised to wait a while before resuming, no treatment during acute stage of loss. And then I went back in for a new formula to start over again.

I’ve since recommended Harklinikken to several of my hair friends, and have seen remarkable results. Lars turned my curly method thinking brain, on its head.

It did take some serious searching to find products that make happy curls, and support scalp health, and support the planet. You can read my product selection criteria and recommendations here.

If you are, genuinely, interested in pursuing, I have a very limited number of Complimentary Consultation Gift Cards ($150 value), existing guests & friends only, hit me up.

Visit Harklinikken to learn more.

* Please note I recommend consulting with a pro about hair loss for proper diagnosis and treatment, and to rule out medical conditions. I’m happy to chat. However, If you have sudden rapid hair loss that is not postpartum, see your doctor ASAP.

close up of glass vases

Ode to Scalps

Scalps are, shall we say, temperamental. They’re kind of neat freaks, but not too squeaky freaky, that’s actually their 2nd pet peeve. They hate some of your best meds. They despise most products, and are quick to label them “toxic!” Did I mention they can be a little hot headed at times. Like, hot-flashers sleeping next to their “I think it’s sexy when it’s hot & humid” hairy partners, Hair, I love you, we look super cute, and just hang so well together, but sometimes, babe, scalps just have different biological needs, especially in the summer!

The Grays

Salt ‘n’ Pepper’s

So, I am hearing 2 BIG complaints about graying hair:

  1. I miss color around my face, I feel washed out, but the upkeep is a pain in the butt!
  2. I love the color but the crazy texture is driving me bananas!
black and white bloom blooming blossom

Let’s tackle them independently:

1. Gray Blues

I love seeing so many women embrace their grays over the last few years. I think it looks on good on so many people.

Personally, I don’t think my natural color, ever, did anything for me.

I am a minimalist when it comes to day makeup. I love my blue eyes, and hate to diminish, or irritate them with too much going on around my eyes. My glasses, and my hair bring color to my face, and are bold statements on their own.

Feeling washed out with so much “white” around your face?

There are so many options, and no one size fits all. I recommend coming for an in person consultation. I consider % of gray, resistance to color, desired results, budget, and maintenance.

These are some of my favorite approaches in order of commitment:

Can be done at home as needed:

Toning Shampoo/ Conditioner : Imparts Subtle Tone on lighter hair or as a refresh between visits, can soften and blend

Salon Services:

Semi/Demi- Permanent Toner : Great for blending grays, lasts 6-8 wks, low commitment, no harsh demarcation lines

Single Process : All over permanent color, or color block, regrowth needs touch ups 4-8 wks

Highlight/Lowlight : Add targeted color and dimension where you need it, 2-3 mos for upkeep

Let’s start with a conversation.

2. Trying Texture

I’ve noticed the people who look amazing with gorgeous white streaks, salty as can be, get annoyed with the frizz, especially around the face.


There are a few things that typically cause those pesky flyaways:

Grays tend to come in with wildly varied textures, and stand out like Seinfeld’s Elaine, cutting a rug on the dance floor.

See section on hair loss.

The shedding cycle is probably getting shorter, creating an endless stream of mini-Elaine B’s flying off your head.

Keep in mind it might take a few tries to find that perfect product.

How to Deal:

Keep Ends Healthy with Seasonal Trims

Mitigate, Protect & Treat Damage with regular Deep Conditioning Treatments

Wet Set with a gel until 100% dry – Finish with a paste, wax or hairspray

Try Hair Tape while it dries

Hot Tools Flat Iron or touch up curls with an iron

I’m building out a tutorial library, view the latest or request one.

Stuck schedule a consult, and let’s troubleshoot together.

I am trying to find a healthy alternative to keratin, no luck yet, I’ll keep you updated.

Keeping those foxy locks silvery:

  • Clarifying Treatment removes buildup as needed
  • Light violet shampoos or conditioners counter yellow tones
  • Deep Condition to keep hair hydrated, soft, and shiny.

Final Word

woman in black long sleeve dress sitting on white chair

Consider me part of your support team.

If I learn something new I’ll pass it on.

If you need more info, message me your challenge,

Lean on me, I am here to help.

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